Let's go to the Movies
by the-burglar
Summary: ONE SHOT Frodo is really bored and decides to go to the movies only he's not going alone. AU OOC


Disclaimer: lawyer- do you own The Lord of the Rings? Me- no it belongs to the near-god J.R.R. Tolkien lawyer- are you gaining anything of value from this publication? Me- nope, no gold, precious stones, pearls, or any form of national currency from this lovely one-shot.

Summary: Frodo is really, really bored and decides to go to the movies. The mistake is that he invites his friends……AU OOCnes the whole nine yards

Warning: This was written while listening to School of Rock, The Darkness, Jamie Cullum, Norah Jones, Ray Charles, Josh Groban, Stevie Nicks, The Beatles, James Taylor, and The Who. I don't know what to warn you about, save for the fact that I make really weird mix CDs.

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It was two o'clock on a Saturday afternoon and Frodo Baggins was utterly and completely bored out of his mind. He was also out of ideas of how to entertain himself. He had already made his bed, cooked breakfast, ate breakfast, blown up twenty orcs on his new computer game, cooked second breakfast, ate second breakfast, watched two hours of television, cooked lunch, ate lunch, and counted all of the rooms in Bag End. Yes, Frodo was bored and not very good at finding a way to become un-bored. For the next hour and a half he wandered aimlessly around the hobbit-hole trying to think of something entertaining to do. In the end (this is three thirty now) he pulled out his cell phone and called Sam, if Frodo couldn't think of anything to do then maybe Sam could.

"Hello, Gamgee residence, Samwise speaking." Came a voice from the other end.

"Hi, is Sam there, this is Frodo."

"Um….this is Sam."

"Hi Sam, I'm bored what can I do?" Asked the furry-footed three-foot-six non-person.

"Er, Mr. Frodo this isn't exactly a good time, I'm taking Rosie to the movies and I-"

"The movies that's perfect Sam!" Frodo interjected. "I'll be at your place in five and then we can invite the rest of the gang."

"But, but Mr. Frodo I can't-"

"By Sam!" And Frodo hung up and put on his favorite movie song ("Maxwell's Silver Hammer" by The Beatles) while he bussled about for his jacket to run over to Sam's.

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It was approximately three forty-five in the lovely, great, noble, yada yada city of Minas Tirith when her noble ruler King Elessar Telcontar's awesome white-tree inscribed cell phone rang.

"Yello," said Aragorn (Mr. His Majesty King Dude).

"Yellow? That's a new one, anyway Arry it's Frodo, we're going to the movies 'cause I'm like you know bored and all. So be at Sam's in half an hour or else."

"Yeah but you see-."

"See you there or I'll snap, again."

Aragorn thought of some very scary memories of Frodo 'snapping' and going all evil, not pleasant.

"Okay, okay I'll see you there." All the King of Men could hope was that no one else refused Frodo's invitation.

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It was now Six o'clock and a large, in no way environmentally-friendly, 'mini'-van (most ridiculous oxymoron in history) was rolling down the road towards the Rohan Multiplex, filled with a very strange assortment of beings. Into the van Frodo had somehow packed six hobbits, nine elves, four humans, two wizards and one lone dwarf all in various states of discomfort.

"Frodo," piped up one of the wizards.

"What is it Gandy ol' buddy ol' pal?" Replied the hobbit.

"Um, Frodo why did you invite Saruman to come to the movies with us?"

"Do you have something against villains Gandalf the _Gray_?" Indignantly retorted the other wizard.

"I do when they should be dead and I'm sharing a car with them. An quit it with the _gray_ nonsense you know perfectly well that I am Gandalf the White, and you are Saurman of nothing 'cause you're evil and should be dead."

"Well I'm here in this car with you going to Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith so live with it you old fart."

"Who are you calling old? Have you looked in the mirror lately?"

"What are you calling a car?" Piped up a blond elf from the back seat. "This is an environmental death-trap."

"Oh shut up Legolas, we're going to a movie not a political rally. Besides I love minivans."

"That's because you're a looser dwarf, Gimli. I'm still going to be here when all of your minivaning, lawn mowing, and hair-spray using has DESTROYED MIDDLE-EARTH!"

At this the two beings leapt into a major argument that lasted until the group reached the concession stand at which point the topic of discussion (ok argument) turned from the horror of fossil fuels to the horror of the lack of nutritional value in movie popcorn. The fight escalated to the point that the elf and dwarf were asked to leave the cinema and were forced to walk back to their respective homes.

Soon the movie started and for a little while Frodo's boredom was quelled….for a time.

It turned out that Star Wars was too long and 'boring' to keep the young hobbit's attention. Soon Frodo and his cousins Merry and Pippin started throwing raisinettes at the back of Sam and Rosie who were making out in the row in front.

Two hours later the movie ended, and not too soon for the hobbits who found it too long to be of entertainment value and for Aragorn and Faramir who noticed tears in their wives eyes when Anakin burned up. The ride home consisted of more bickering from the various members of the group.

By the time he returned home Frodo sat down and realized something truly horrible….he was still bored.

The END

AN: yeah it sucked, it was written to suck, I haven't written in a long time and lost any good stories when my hard drive crashed. This was just to get my feet wet because I didn't have much homework. Review if you like.


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